Our first comment is just a word choice thing, but for "kitai wo shite," we would go with, "get your(my) hopes up." Because of the "ni" at the end of the second line, it seems to go more with the third line than the first. So the first line is probably all by itself--something like "You get your hopes up, and it burdens you."
In the second line, "yure" is a noun (tremor, vibration, jolting, flickering), and the "ni" would make it something like "at[in, to] an enormous swaying." "In" is actually probably what works best. So something like "In your great swaying (we're thinking it's a metaphor for uncertainty)," which would lead into the next line. There's no "but" in the third line, so it would be "you get your hopes up, and misunderstand (or get the wrong idea)."
For the next stanza, our advice is pretty much the same. Also, for the "mata dame ni naru," the singer is probably talking about himself(herself?), saying, "I get my hopes up, and become 'dame' again." "Dame" is tricky. Useless, hopeless, no good, NG, whatever fits the best in the context and sounds most poetic.
In the next stanza, the "sono" in "sono hitsuyou" is referring to a specific "hitsuyou," in this case, most likely the need for getting hopes up and misunderstanding and all that stuff in the first two stanzas. To put it simply, "there's no need for that." "In this city, where there's no need for that, what are we so dismayed about?" (Make sure to check that you're not using too many prepositions.)
For the next part, a lot of the time, "tatoeba" means "for the sake of argument, let's say...," which can be simplified to "even if..."
Also, "hou" can refer to the act of doing the verb in front of it. Using "hou" instead of "koto" indicates that it's that act, as opposed to another. So "tadayou hou" would be "the act of drifting (as opposed to something else)." So that line would be something like "Even if we could drift and the rails would not be broken..." (The "wa" after rails indicates that the rails may not be broken after the drifting, but who knows what else might be.)
The next line is the along the same lines. In both lines, it's, "Even if doing A, B would still be the case." "Even if I could follow the rules and still be touching you." We're not sure if we can explain it in a way that makes sense. There are a lot of implied things.
For "yuuwaku shite," "yuuwaku suru" is "to tempt," not "to be tempted," so it would be, "We tempt, we reject, and if we reach the end, we do it all again."
For the next line, since it's speaking in hypotheticals (if...), maybe "what would
you wish for?"
The rest of the song follows the same patterns, so hopefully this will help with the rest of it, too. I hope we weren't too nitpicky. Songs are hard; you did a good job! We'd be happy to answer any questions you may have.
And, we were really confused about the spear thing, so we looked it up at Infoseek
, and according to the kokugo jiten, "yari" can also mean "yajiru koto," which is the act of jeering, catcalling, heckling, etc. I don't know if that will help to make sense of the line, but maybe something like, "with a small jeer."
Hope that helped!